Vitamin C and Romance

It’s a routine I’ve practiced for years.

  • Every morning: 2 vitamin C tablets.
  • Every evening: 2 vitamin C tablets when I get home.

It’s a habit to help keep my body ready to ward off illnesses which might attack me.

Several weeks ago, my supply ran out.

No problem. I’ll just buy some more vitamin C – at the grocery, drug, discount, or warehouse store; in tablets, gummies or gel caps form.

But I forgot – repeatedly. I’d get home and realize I’d the vitamin C. No problem. I’ll get them next time.

After several weeks, my body was overcome with a cold.

Amazingly, I found time to walk to a local drug store, about 15 minutes away and purchase a small supply of chewable vitamin C tablets.

I started overwhelming the cold with vitamin C. Every couple hours I’d chew 2 more pills. Within 24 hours I was feeling better and within 48 hours the cold was in full retreat.

This sometimes happens in our relationships.

We go along romancing our sweetheart every week. As dependable as Friday night starting the weekend, we create a Romantic Interlude and keep the romantic fire lit.

Then we miss a week. Forget again the following week. And one evening you come home from work and sense a distance has opened up between you and your sweetheart.

You go into a full on, sweetheart focused, Romantic Interlude designing, vitamin C devouring binge to rescue your relationship from the long slide into a plain, platonic partnership.

Two truths. At that moment:

  1. You need to revive the romance. Create several Romantic Interludes over the next 2 weeks. Then,
  2. Commit to maintaining the health of the romance with a persistent, consistent stream of weekly Romantic Interludes.

Time for my morning vitamin C pills.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Random Romantic Messages

Most email and other messaging programs allow you to schedule delivery of messages when you want the message to arrive. Use this feature to create little Romantic Interludes for your sweetheart.

Create several short messages for your sweetheart. I suggest maybe 15-20. They can be as short as, “I just got distracted thinking of you”, or thousand-word essays. I’d suggest keeping them short. They’re more likely to be read when they arrive.

Once drafted, schedule these messages to be sent to your sweetheart at random times, a couple each day for a next week.

You’ll spark a connection while apart and light up your sweetheart’s life.

Let me know if you try this and how your sweetheart responds.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Shared Love On A Two-Way Street

I found love on a two-way street, and lost it on a lonely highway.

Not very inspirational when talking about relationships and romance.

In the last couple entries, I’ve set out the importance of building Romance on a firm Relationship Triangle. The first two sides are:

  1. Personal honor and
  2. Mutual respect, which starts with self-respect.

The third side of the Relationship Triangle is shared love.

Personal honor and mutual respect are not enough. Without shared love you’re left with just a companion, not a sweetheart.

Bring a Love Triangle into the relationship to create shared love with your sweetheart.

First, caring love:

  • You wish the best for your sweetheart as a person,
  • You show your appreciation for your sweetheart,
  • You’re loyal to your sweetheart and the relationship.

Secondly, intimate love:

  • There’s chemistry between you,
  • You’re love-struck, smitten, head-over-heels,
  • You’ve fall in love.

Thirdly, love without expectations:

  • You freely give of yourself and your time without requiring your sweetheart to reciprocate.
  • You give without expectations.

When you bring this Love Triangle to your sweetheart, it separates this relationship from others in your life. It’s special and unique between the two of you.

HOWEVER, if only one person brings this depth of love into the relationship, it becomes a love affair for one, which will never do.

In order for the third side of the Relationship Triangle to be firm, this love must be shared, mutual, and given by each to the other.

Without this depth of love from both parties, or if one person loses this level of love, there will be no shared love. The Relationship Triangle will crumble. And Romance will sputter, wheeze and collapse.

And the two-way, shared love will be lost on the one-way, lonely highway with no hope of Romance.

Don’t go there. Use the Love Triangle with the Relationship Triangle for Romance.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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I Respect You For . . . .

Continuing from my last blog, here’s a Romantic Interlude idea to bring more respect into your relationship.

10 blank note cards for this Romantic Interlude.

Tell your sweetheart you’re making dinner tomorrow. As part of the preparation for the meal, you’ve created 5 special note cards just for him/her. Each card starts, “I respect you for —”. You’ve described certain of your sweetheart’s traits you respect.

Hand your sweetheart the 5 blank cards and ask her/him to create 5 cards about you.

At dinner, between the main course and dessert, take turns reading your cards to each other, one at a time.

Take your time. Bask in the words from your sweetheart.

For fun, emphasize what you’ve shared with a kiss. Imagine that. Respect, Warmth, Romance.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Romance Requires Personal and Mutual Respect

Joyce was skilled with handling money. She was also fearless when it came time to connect with someone, no matter their perceived power or position.

He respected her for this.

Ron inspired her to stretch herself, taking on new adventures. He also had a knack for figuring out a solution when none seemed to exist.

She respected him.

They mutually respected each other. And each thought they were the luckiest person in the world.

Joyce didn’t realize Ron’s financial situation eroded his perceived confidence. His debts kept him awake at nights, silently terrified he couldn’t pay his bills. The cancer of debt ate away at his self-respect.

Ron’s declining self-respect led Joyce to realize Ron’s true financial situation. She lost respect for him, and lost interest in being romanced by him.

A great romance is built on a strong foundation found in the relationship triangle.

  • Side one: personal honor.
  • Side two: mutual respect.

Mutual respect requires each to have self-respect.

If you don’t have self-respect, it dissolves the respect your sweetheart has for you. As the song says, “If you don’t respect yourself, Ain’t nobody gonna give a good cahoot.”

And no one wants to be romanced by someone for whom they have no respect.

Struggling with self-respect? Time to take positive action to gain your self-respect.

  1. Look at your strengths, what you do well. Confidently focus on and value those abilities. Acknowledge areas where you struggle but don’t let them overwhelm and control you.
  2. Learn your sweetheart’s strengths and respect his/her fortes.

You have the ability to build the second side of the relationship triangle – mutual respect.

Respect yourself. Respect your sweetheart. And as mutual respect grows, the foundation upon which to build a relationship filled with romance just keeps getting better every day.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Creating a Romantic Interlude Memorial

What is the most romantic thing you have ever done for your sweetheart? If you don’t know, ask your sweetheart.

Find something that memorializes that Romantic Interlude. Maybe a photo of the two of you. Or a receipt, plane ticket, or program. Could be a poster or a pressed flower.

Take that reminder and figure out a way to display it in a place you’ll both see daily: on the wall, in a case, on the table. Add a note like, “I’ll always remember.”

Invite your sweetheart to see this memorial. Let her/him know you’ll smile every time you see it.

What will be your Romantic Memorial? I’d love to hear about it.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Personal Honor and Romance

Kohana stood before these elite warriors, the Red Shirt men. He’d dreamed of becoming one someday. Stretching his neck and spine to the full height of his 16-year-old frame, he held the rolled red sash in his outstretched hand.

The final test was 4 days of non-stop running, climbing and wading. True to his name (Swift), he’d navigated forests, crossed wide, swift streams and climbed to the top of Far Mountain. He barely made the deadline to complete this test – when Anpetu wi (the sun) was at his hottest.

He’d risked being late when he bypassed the red sash he saw at the bottom of Far Mountain. He could have grabbed it and they’d never have known. But the instructions were explicit: “the red sash tied to a rock on TOP of Far Mountain”.

Honor has been described as:

  • Integrity,
  • Your reputation,
  • Keeping your word,
  • What you do when no one is looking.

It goes to the core of a person – and it’s part of the triangular foundation of a strong relationship.

The quality of romance is directly related to the foundation of your relationship. Part of that strong foundation is living with honor.

Can your sweetheart trust you:

  • To do what you say you’ll do?
  • When he/she isn’t around?
  • With deep, intimate secrets?

When you live with personal honor, the first side of the Relationship Triangle is strong. And a strong relationship makes romance “safe”.

Let it unroll from your hand, young one.”

As Kohana unfurled the red sash, it reached all the way to the ground.

Unknown to him, if he’d returned with the sash from the bottom of Far Mountain, they’d have known he had no honor. That sash was far shorter, and he would have been exposed as “he with no honor”, and no part of the Red Shirts.

Live, Romance with honor.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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