Photographic Romantic Memory

Most of us have a gaggle of pictures stored in our phones or in the cloud. In fact, you and I probably have photos we’ve forgotten we took.

Go through the pictures and locate some unusual ones taken when you and your sweetheart were someplace doing something together. They could be unusual because of the subject of the photo. Or they could be ones you don’t recognize.

Pick 6 of these photos.

Invite your sweetheart to sit down beside you. Share the 6 photos. See how many details about the pictures you (plural) remember, like where you were and what was going on when you took the photo. Robert

If you haven’t taken our poll, I invite you to do so today before the poll closes.  Let me know if your relationship is worth fighting for. 

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Fighting to Keep Romance Alive

A “good” fight helps you keep Romance Alive.

Left hemisphere immediately rejected that headline. It’s just wrong to use “fight” and “romance” in the same sentence. Right brain told me, “At least read the article.”

Good fighting to keep Romance Alive is based on two concepts.

  1. Fighting shows there’s still passion in the relationship. You must be emotionally invested to have a fight.
  2. Couples who share their feelings which lead up to the fight, increase intimacy and help rekindle the passion.

Could be something here. But what do you fight about to keep Romance Alive? Here’s a couple suggestions.

Fights about feeling lonely. If you feel a chasm between you, there’ll be no intimacy, no romance. “Fighting” about those lonely feelings and discussing your sense of disconnectedness, can forge a path to reconnect, to break down the wall and become a couple again.

Fight about what you want. Fight for your needs, your desires. After all, how do you expect to get what you want (keeping Romance Alive) if your sweetheart doesn’t know what you want from the relationship. You and your sweetheart need to have an honest conversation about both your (plural) wants.

Fight about priorities. Is romance more important to you than your sweetheart? Time to understand and be understood about its importance. Realizing your different priorities, gives you a baseline understanding of each other and facilitates an opportunity to find ways to fulfill each other’s romantic desires.

Knowing where each of you stands on these and other important issues, allowing disagreements to be debated (good fights), persisting in the “fight” to reach mutually satisfying conclusions can deepen intimacy, strengthen the relationship and help keep Romance Alive.

Is your relationship worth fighting for? Let me know by taking a quick poll.

Thanks Dr. Saudia Twin (marriage therapist), Toni Coleman (relationship coach), Jenna Ponaman (relationship coach), and Carla Romo (dating coach) for your insights.

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Picture It All Over Again

Where did you and your sweetheart stay on that first night or weekend together? What was the name of the place? Remember what it looked like from the front?

Go online and find the location’s website. If there’s no website, look for a travel site or the town’s website for pictures of that special place. Even if it’s no longer in existence, you may find photos online.

Capture a couple pictures of the place, the setting and the surrounding area. Print the pictures.

Some quiet evening, surprise your sweetheart and share the romantic memories of that time together.

Where did you go?  Robert

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The Most Romantic Place

Where is the most romantic place on earth? The floor is now open for nominations.

  • Is it the Maldives, with their white sandy beaches fronting tropical crystal-clear turquoise water?
  • Or, gliding along the canals of Venice on an early summer’s eve, chauffeured by a baritone serenading gondolier?
  • Or, watching the sun reflect off the towers of the original Sleeping Beauty Castle, Neuschwanstein, in Bavaria?
  • Or, floating along the Okazaki Canal among the delicate springtime cherry blossoms in Kyoto?
  • Or, soaking in the tranquil spirit of Taktsang Monastery located in the quiet emptiness of the upper Paro valley?

Polls and “experts” have bestowed the most romantic place on earth title to each of these destinations. Survey 100 people and there’d be little agreement on even on the top ten most romantic destinations. I’d bet many of you reading this would disagree on all of the above.

Which prompts this question. Why did you consider your response, the most romantic place on earth? Is it because:

  • You’ve heard it’s a romantic paradise?
  • It sounds exotic, so it must be romantic? Or,
  • Because there aren’t any kids or distractions?

Do any of these sound romantic: strolling the Champs Elysees, gazing across the Schwangau valley from the towers of Neuschwanstein, bathing in the thermal pools of Rotorua, watching the sunset from Mallory Square in Key West?

I’ve had the privilege of visiting these places and here’s what I’ve learned.

  • It’s not the location that makes it romantic. It’s who you’re with. And,
  • It’s not the location that makes it romantic. It’s how much you truly share that moment together.

Any place can be the most romantic place on earth if you slow down, quietly imbibe the beauty of the surrounding and share the moment with your sweetheart. Maybe it’s a short drive from your home.

Tell me where is your romantic place is.  Robert

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Special Card

When was the last time you got your sweetheart a romantic, I-love-you card?  Maybe it’s time to get another. And make it a bit more memorable.

Purchase the card.

Before personalizing the inside of the card, adorn the envelope with several different dates. These are dates significant to your relationship or dates when you shared something special with your sweetheart.

Once you’ve embellish the envelope, personalize the inside of the card. Write down the significance of each date. Let your sweetheart know why you think those dates are important to you (plural).

What was the first date which came to your mind? Robert

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South Korea, The Olympics and Romance

I’m jealous of the Koreans.

First, they had the 2018 Winter Olympics. Then I find out they’re probably the most romantic country in the world.

You see, South Koreans celebrate romance on the 14th of each month. And each month has a different “romantic” theme.

  • January 14 – Diary Day. Blank diaries are exchanged. Throughout the year, sweethearts share what they’ve written.
  • February – 14 is . . . you know, Valentine’s Day. Except women give their sweetheart gifts a la Sadie Hawkins.
  • March 14 – White Day. Now women are the recipients of their sweetheart’s romantic gifts. Men present presents to the women.
  • April 14 – Black Day. I don’t understand the romance with this one. People not in relationships wear black and meet up for a bowl of dark jajangmeyon. Let’s remind you, you don’t have a sweetheart.
  • May 14 – Yellow Day. People exchange yellow roses, then go out for food and time together.
  • June 14 – Kiss Day. I like this one, sweetie. Smack.
  • July 14 – Silver Day. Couples exchange silver ‘promise rings”, showing commitment to the relationship and each other.
  • August 14 – Green Day. A midsummer night’s dream in Korea and couples find green carpeted places to eat, drink soju and spend time together.
  • September 14 – Photo Day. Couples memorialize their moment together in a photograph, whether by a professional photographer, a selfie or someone passing by.
  • October 14 – Wine Day. Harvest time. Time to celebrate zymology with your sweetheart.
  • November 14 – Movie Day. Couples share movie magic at the cinema or in their own home theater.
  • December 14 – Hug Day. Hugging all day and hugging all night. I like it.

You might think it a bit much, bombarded every month with commercials for Romantic Celebration. But what if you were given a starting point every month for creating a Romantic Interlude. Wouldn’t that help?

Here’s to 로맨스


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Create a Romantic Exercise Message

Exercise and create a romantic message for your sweetheart.

Map out a walking/running/cycling route which forms the letter “U”. It may require backtracking, so you begin and end at the same place. Download an app which records your movement like Runkeeper or Endomondo.

Start the app and travel the route.

When you get home, make a printout of the route. Fold the paper in thirds.

On the outside of the paper, write “Inside you’ll discover what I was thinking about while I was out.” Your sweetheart will discover you were thinking about . . . your sweetheart.

So what’ll your message be? Robert

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