Avoiding the UnRomantic Rut

Saturday morning and no reading glasses. I’d probably left them at work. Since I was in the area, I decided to check the office before going out to breakfast.

With my work ID, I badged my way through the employee entrance, up the elevator and into the silence of the 5th floor.

There they were, impatiently waiting for me to collect them.

Down the elevator, out the door and into the car. Four minutes, twelve seconds after arriving, I pulled out of my parking spot, turned left and headed down the familiar roads. Another 4 minutes and I was northbound on Highway 9.

What was I doing?!? The restaurant was a different direction. I should have turned right out of the parking lot and would already be seated at the Original Pancake House.

While the car was in drive, my mind was in neutral. I was headed a familiar direction but going the wrong way.

It’s easy to repeat an action so many times it becomes a habit. And habits can become ruts.

Is it possible your Romantic Interludes have become unromantic ruts? You’ve repeatedly romanced your sweetheart the same basic way so many times, it’s become boring.

You once gave your sweetheart a sweet-sayings card, and your sweetheart thanked you with a big hug and deep kiss. A week later you bring home another card and get a similar reaction.

Hmmm. Maybe I’m on to something here.

You buy another card, and another card, and . . . it’s become monotonous, the specialness lost – killed by the creation of an unromantic rut.

Romance needs variety. Romance needs unpredictability. Romance needs life.

If you’ve inadvertently created an unromantic rut, disrupt that pattern. Change things up. Do something different, unexpected

Let your sweetheart experience anticipation on how you might romance this week. Let variety keep your Romance Alive!

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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A Mysterious Romantic Trust

A mysterious Interlude can peak your sweetheart’s anticipation.

Send your sweetheart an invitation for a tryst, Saturday morning, 7 a.m. Suggest the appropriate apparel. Clean the car or rent something special to dive. If needed, you arrange childcare as needed.

Start with a leisurely drive to an out-of-town breakfast destination. Continue the day with a street fair or special festival. Enjoy planned activities and/or leisurely strolls. Relax.

Select a quiet dinner spot, different from your usual choices. End the evening with conversation over coffee and dessert.

Make it a day for just the two of you to enjoy carefree time together, one-on-one. And you surprised your sweetheart – always a great way for a romance.

Robert – a hopeless romantic

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Romancing and Moving

One year earlier I’d been “made redundant”. Now my severance was running out and still no job. I needed to cut expenses.

A generous opportunity was presented: rent my home out and become a tenant, at a below-market rate.

Mercy! That involved moving, packing up my life into boxes.

  • How do I pack my ten-year collection of stuff accumulated over a lifetime?
  • Do I keep my high school t-shirt (it didn’t fit)? How about the boutonniere from my first prom?
  • What do I pack first? I’ll need to keep living during the process.

The enormity of the undertaking was daunting. Where do I begin stuffing all my essentials and treasures into boxes I can carry? Awwwww.

I’ll think about it tomorrow.

Three weeks later I decided to pack just one box with books. I have lots of books. Not too bad or stressful. Maybe another.

A couple days later, there was a row of boxes: four tall, ten long. And it continued growing.

Romancing your sweetheart can seem intimidating, overwhelming and scary. So much to consider.

  • How do I figure out the best way to romance?
  • How do I plan a Romantic Interlude?
  • Should we go out or stay in?

We let fear of the perceived size of the task immobilize our efforts.

Can you identify?

As a remedy, pack a box today. Take a single step to romance your sweetheart.

  • Reread previous blog until you find one you like. OR
  • Remind yourself of things you’ve done with your sweetheart that she/he enjoyed and make notes. OR
  • Search romantic ideas on the internet and capture two you like.

Take a single action today, then another tomorrow. Continue achieving one thing a day until you’ve had a Romantic Interlude. Continue to another Interlude. And another.

Keep on romancing your sweetheart for a lifetime – one action at a time.

Robert – a hopeless romantic

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A Clownish, Romantic Interlude

Laughing together can be the basis for an excellent Romantic Interlude.

Find a comedy club in town with a lineup you think you’ll both enjoy. Get tickets and invite your sweetheart for an evening of levity.

Get ready for the evening in separate rooms. Your outfit will include something outlandish: hat or a loud, clownish shirt; maybe goofy glasses. Just add a touch of silliness.

Now meet your sweetheart. Laugh together at your ridiculous getup. Keep it on for the evening.

If you can’t find a comedy club, find a comedic movie.

Robert

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Four Traits from West Point For Romance

Like the infamous scene from Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, conflicting thoughts attacked Tico from seemingly everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Doubts yanked at him, attempting to intimidate him from stepping onto the stage.

You’re not ready for this?”
You might make a fool of yourself.”
What if you fail?
Quit!”

His commitment to succeed triumphed over fear and doubts.

Romancing your sweetheart can be a bit intimidating. Like Tico, you’ve wanted to romance your sweetheart. And when that moment arrived, you hesitated. And maybe you’ve heeded the siren call, abandoning the idea before succeeding.

We’ve all been there at some point. And maybe repeatedly.

How do you muzzle those voices? By romancing your sweetheart.

How do you romance despite your fears? Here are some traits you can develop, lessons “Moose” learned while at West Point Academy.

  1. No Excuses.

No matter how daunting the idea of romancing your sweetheart, decide to be romantic and don’t let any excuse deter you.

  1. Embrace the Suck.

OK, maybe a bit harsh (it’s the army) but the idea is to push through your doubts and anything which tries to dissuade you from romancing your sweetheart.

  1. Take Ownership of the Situation.

When you claim it as your relationship with your sweetheart, something extraordinary happens. It becomes personal. It’s yours. And you really can’t be romantic until you own it.

  1. Be Decisive.

Try without having all knowledge of being romantic. After 20 years, I’ve still much to learn. Besides, waiting to have all knowledge is an excuse. See #1. Use what you know and do your best with that. Being romantic requires taking action.

Want to romance your sweetheart? (Yes!) Are you willing to commit to romancing your sweetheart? (Yes!) Start with trait #1. Step out on that stage and romance your sweetheart today.

Robert

Thanks to “Moose” from www.MSoLife.com for the habits he shared on his website.

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Slow Dancing Romance

What’s your favorite slow-dance? Is there a slow-dance song you and your sweetheart both like? Make a playlist of a couple of these tunes.

After dinner’s eaten and the dishes put away, invite your sweetheart into the living room. Push back the furniture.

Start the slow-dance playlist playing quietly. Hold out your hand, inviting your sweetheart to join you. Begin to move together to the music, swaying to its gentle rhythm. Enjoy, don’t judge your ability.

After the song ends, continue holding your sweetheart close for another minute or so. Then tell your sweetheart, “Thank you. I needed that.”

Think I’m ready for some slow dancing tonight. Robert

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Romantic Nurturing

Today’s commute was worse than usual.

A white BMW must have been doing 75 when it crossed 2 lanes of slowing traffic, nearly stealing her bumper. When the roar of the grey whatever sped around her from the other side, she fantasized about machine guns mounted on her hood.

Her sweetheart listened intently as she described her commute, quietly put his arm around her.

Fortunately, the freeway follies weren’t the highlight of her day. Her sweetheart’s parting words had given her the extra confirmation she was ready for her 11 O’clock presentation. She even impressed old Mr. Snarly-face.

Nurturing is a treasure your sweetheart can give you. It uniquely creates romantic moments between the two of you in quiet, subtle ways.

  • A moment of physical affection shrinks the world to just the two of you.
  • Words of support and encouragement leave you feeling confident.
  • Proactive listening connects the two of you.

When you nurture your sweetheart, you can create memories the two of you share, memories you’ll have with no one else. It expresses how valuable your sweetheart is to you. And it creates moments that draw you together. We don’t often realize how nurturing can impact our relationship.

Maybe you view nurturing as an inherited trait – you’re either born with the nurturing gene or not.

Nurturing may come more naturally to some. Yet it’s also a choice each of us can make. We can choose to nurture our sweetheart.

You become a nurturer for your sweetheart when you:

  • Actively listen;
  • Show physical affection for your sweetheart;
  • Become their honest and authentic cheerleader.

At its foundation, nurturing is encouraging, reassuring and caring for your sweetheart. It lifts spirits and provides support.

When you nurture your sweetheart, you nurture your relationship. And when your sweetheart feels nurtured, romance requires less effort and feels more natural.

Robert

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