A non-romantic sweetheart

Last year I conducted a survey on the challenges people face in keeping romance alive. In analyzing the responses to the survey I found there are three major challenges people face.

One of those challenges is one person will want romance to be part of the relationship. Their sweetheart seems to have had the romance gene immaculately removed from their DNA.

The result is frustration for one partner and oblivious satisfaction for the other.

This negatively impacts the relationship.

The person frustrated by the perceived lack of romance can become angry – passive-aggressively angry. Since the other person has no interest or expectations for romance, they may not realize the deepening problem.

I read an interesting article by Rebecca Vaughan about finding romance with a non-romantic. You see, Rebecca’s sweetheart is not romantic.

Here are a couple ideas Rebecca shared:

1)     Appreciate your sweetheart’s gestures for what they are. Maybe your sweetheart will park their car on the street so you can have the garage or carport for your car. Maybe your sweetheart will choose a restaurant because he or she knows it’s your favorite.

2)    Don’t expect what your sweetheart doesn’t deliver. Maybe you wish your sweetheart would send you flowers or tell you they love you several times a day. But maybe your sweetheart keeps your car clean for you. Maybe she wears a dress you like when the two of you go out to dinner. Learn what special thing you sweetheart does for you and tell them you appreciate those things.

The suggestion I think she took from my book is to be romantic yourself. Don’t wait for your sweetheart to take the romantic initiative. Lead by example.

One word of caution though.Don’t be romantic and expect your sweetheart to automatically reciprocate in the manner which meets your expectations.

Be patient. Be romantic. And be patient some more.