“I AM NOT ANGRY!“, she said.
I didn’t believe her.
I couldn’t see her. She was a caller to a radio talk show.
I have no idea if her ears were crimson or her nostrils flared.
Yet every listener and the host knew she was angry.
The majority of what she said contradicted the minority of what she said.
At some point in time, you’ve probably seen someone scream they’re not angry, while eyes glared and teeth clenched. (Maybe you were that person?)
Did you believe them?
No – because your dad was right. Actions speak louder than words.
Don’t believe me?
Try telling your sweetheart how sincerely you love them while talking in a clown’s voice and crossing your eyes. It doesn’t work.
Research shows that only 7% of our message comes from the words we use. Our vocal quality communicates 38% of the message and body language the remaining 55%.
Even though I couldn’t see this person, her vocal quality communicated the truth five times louder than her words.
Ever told your sweetheart, “Love ya,” and didn’t mean it?
Ever said, “I’d be happy to do that for you,” with sarcasm-laced words?
In “Growing Romance” I talk about congruity between what you say and how you say it. Communicate your message with congruity between you words, tone of voice and your body. Unless it’s just an act and you have the talent of Humphrey Bogart, your vocal quality and body language will reveal the truth to your sweetheart.
If your sweetheart treasures being romanced by words, insincere words will do even more damage to your relationship.
So tell your sweetheart how you honestly feel about him/her and communicate it with your entire body.
In a few days I’m going to give away a Valentine’s package to someone. Maybe it could be you.
Thanks, Robert (Robert@RomanceAlive.com)