“You don’t use bait on a hooked fish.”
That’s the punch line to one of the worst jokes I’ve heard.
The story preceding the punch line tells of a guy who purchases flowers from the same florist every week for 2 years. One day this Dummkopf! announces to the florist this is his last visit. He finally talked the gal into marrying him and . . . .
Too many women and men I’ve talked with either are in a relationship or view relationships through these fisheye lenses.
All their energy goes into “catching” a sweetheart.
Once they “caught”, they stop romancing their sweetheart.
They put the relationship into neutral and let it coast to a dead stop.
Here are some warning signs it’s happening.
- Little gifts given in the early days now happen only on Hallmark Holidays.
- Special terms of endearment whispered into ears are spoken less frequently then “Auld Lang Syne”.
- Caressing and snuggling rarely takes place.
- Long conversations once enjoyed are hasty greetings shared in passing.
Did I miss any of the four major ways of romancing I teach?)
If you view relationships as the fishing analogy, for you:
1) Relationships are catch-and-release; or
2) Relationships are about hooking, consuming, then throwing out your line for the next one.
I prefer the road trip analogy for romance:
- You start off excited about getting to your destination.
- The trip becomes long and you encounter unforeseen difficulties.
- Unplanned side roads lead to unexpected experiences which create wonderful memories.
- And, the trip becomes the destination
No matter where you are in your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together, maintain romance as an important part of it and you’ll enjoy a healthy, enviable relationship.
Throw the fish analogy overboard. Let romance be the goal, not just the bait.
Do you agree with this? I’m open to your comments. Robert