Valentine’s Day. Does the thought of its approach fill you with excitement or anxiety?
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be an opportunity to:
- Celebrate your relationship.
- Show your appreciation for your sweetheart.
- Express your affection to your partner.
Valentine’s Day might have a negative impact on a relationship, especially a stressed relationship:
- Misaligned expectations collide.
- Perceived pressure to “perform” and select the “correct” gift increases.
The result can amplify anxieties and leave you and/or your sweetheart on edge and irritable. Not very romantic.
A recent study of college relationships found that during the weeks before and after Valentine’s Day, the rate of break ups increased more than at any other time during the year. The Valentine’s season seemed to escalate the intensity of already tense issues.
Here are two ideas to make your Valentine’s Day enjoyable for both of you.
Discuss with your sweetheart how you as a couple would like to celebrate your relationship on Valentine’s Day.
- What would each of you find romantic?
- Do you want to go anywhere/do anything at all?
- Would you like to celebrate a day or two before February 14?
- If required, what about the kids?
Discuss with your sweetheart exchanging gifts.
- Do you want to exchange gifts?
- Is there something each of you would find romantic to receive?
This open and honest discussion before February 14 sets expectations. It helps make this date an opportunity to truly be a celebration of “us and our relationship”. This relieves the stress and anxiety of “correctly performing”.
It can create my definition of romance,
“Doing something to express affection to your sweetheart in a meaningful yet unexpected way. Creating special moments that enhance the relationship in a way that is unique between the couple and it leaves a special memory.”
Let me know if this helps you get ready for Valentine’s. Robert
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