Keeping Romance Alive is Difficult

Maybe you thought you’d never hear this coming from my keyboard but I’m going to confess.

Keeping Romance Alive is difficult.

There, I said it. Probably not something you’d expect me to admit. It’s true. Whether your flee-or-flight response ignites at the word “romance”, or you’re a person who proactively seeks new ways to romance your sweetheart, Keeping Romance Alive is hard.

It’s not because you can’t find ideas.

  • You’ll find book titles from “Rekindling Romance for Dummies” to “Keeping Romance Alive” by Kara Emerson Chapman. (Wonder where she found inspiration for that title?)
  • Magazines like Cosmopolitan, Parents and Time provide an endless stream of romantic suggestions.
  • An Internet search returns over 900,000 results for Keeping Romance Alive.

With all these resources and your understanding of the benefits to your relationship, why is it still difficult for us to Keep Romance Alive?

I believe the difficulty lies in our view of romance. People often view romance as a grand event, a sweeping-someone-off-their-feet moment, the pinnacle of a relationship.

Truth is, romance isn’t a goal. Romance is a journey.

Romance is a continuing adventure for your relationship, one which carries the two of you forward and closer. As Jaime Shine states, romance should be “a journey of never ending courtship”.

Recently I drove from Reno, Nevada to Mariposa, California. My destination may have been a hotel in Mariposa, but my goal was never to get there asap. My goal was the journey to Mariposa. If my goal and focus had been the hotel, I would have missed Bodie, Mono Lake, the high Sierra Nevadas, Tuolumne Meadows, El Capitan and Half Dome in my haste to reach my destination.

Don’t let Romance be your goal. Make romance part of your relational journey. That small mental shift will help you Keep Your Romance Alive. Robert

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About RomanceALIVE

Helping people grow relationships via romance. Been studying, researching, observing what is romance and how to be romantic since the 90's.
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