When was the last time your sweetheart romanced you? And the time before that?
- Has it been this week? Last week?
- Did your sweetheart romance you “correctly”, as you prefer?
- Have you romanced your sweetheart since you were romanced?
How many times has your sweetheart romanced you this month?
Do you out-romance your sweetheart? Or, does your sweetheart outromance you?
Be honest with me. In your relationship, who’s the one who most frequently romances the other?
How quickly were you able to answer those questions?
I hope you had to stop and think hard about the true answers to those questions. Because if you want to have a vibrant relationship with a wonderful romantic component to it, you won’t keep track of who romances the other most.
Romance is not a score-keeping game.
If you count the number of times you romance your sweetheart and the number of times your sweetheart romances you, you’re not a romantic. If you romance to be romanced, you lose.
The quickest way to ensure romance will not be part of your relationship is to keep score.
The goal of romancing your sweetheart is simple. You romance your sweetheart to romance your sweetheart. It’s about your sweetheart and enhancing the relationship.
One caveat. Knowing your sweetheart out-romances you could be positive. You could use “losing” as an incentive to become more romantic.
If you have a mental scorepad, throw it away. A romance-counting file? Delete it. Assume your sweetheart out-romances you 100:1 and look for new ways to do something to express your affection for your sweetheart, designing special moments the two of you can share, and creating an abundance of shared memories of those moments together. That’s romance.
You got some romantic catching up to do.
Robert, a hopeless romantic
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