Impulsive Romantic Options

Remember spontaneous decisions you and your sweetheart would make to go out for dinner and a movie? Or taking a Saturday afternoon drive that stretched into Sunday morning breakfast at a lodge?

Spur of the moment romance was easy to create. All you needed was a whim, a mischievous look to your sweetheart, an audacious suggestion, and the two of you were off on a serendipitous Romantic Interlude.

Then life got busy.

Jobs, kids, civic duties, and mom or dad’s taxi consume any time you once had for those memorable adventures. Thirty minutes to snuggle on the couch means both of you charge through chores, homework and bedtime like leathernecks storming the beaches of Normandy. When you finally throw yourself onto the couch, you’re so exhausted from beach-storming, you crumple into two sleeping heaps.

Is there any way to keep Romance Alive under those conditions?

Yes, there is. You can keep your Romance Alive. The difference? It’s not as likely to be created impulsively. To keep the pulse of Romance Alive in your relationship, it now takes some intentionality.

The good news is, you have an advantage keeping Romance Alive over that young couple you once were.

Where once it took big, audacious ideas to create an Interlude, you now have a relational foundation. Use that to your advantage. Let simple, deliberate, and at times crafty ideas keep Romance Alive.

• Instead of a fancy restaurant, take two hours together at a coffee shop while the kids practice soccer.
• Instead of a room with a view, take an afternoon for lunch and a stroll while the kids are at school.
• Instead of a five-hour drive to the mountains, enjoy conversation on a grocery run.

It takes forethought and creativity instead of impulse. But if committed, you can keep your Romance Alive in small, personal, imaginative ways. Robert

If you’d like a reference book of these ideas, click for my ebook, “A Year of Romantic Memos“.

Share a Rainshower

Sometimes the best Romantic Interlude is something “spontaneous” and simple.

On a rainy days find a place where you and your sweetheart can sit close together and enjoy the rain. Pull up a couple of chairs. Listen to the splatter of raindrops on a roof or in a puddle. Inhale the damp, humid smell of earth and plants soaking up water. Let the multitude of individual drops striking the ground in perfect timing and harmony cover the racket of life.

During this pitter-patter symphony, share memories of splish-splashing in the rain as kids. Do you remember finding  puddles with both feet? Robert

Keeping Romance Realistic

“Every day must be like a first date for you and your sweetheart, Robert. You have this endless river of romantic ideas. Wish my relationship was like that.”

You know life doesn’t really work that way. With time:

• The wonder of a newborn becomes the daily routine of feedings and dirty diapers;
• Moments of monotony become more frequent in your dream job;
• The new car eventually hauls pine straw.

No matter the chills of a new relationship, over time it loses its novelty. Or you try to find ways to recreate the newness and exceed yesterday’s excitement. We know those forced escalations leave no one happy.

At this point you might be ready to turn your back on romance. Maybe you’re tempted to judge that it doesn’t make your relationship any better. Romance is unrealistic, pie-in-the-sky Fantasyland.

Before you quit reading this blogand walk away, let me say I agree with you – at least partially.

My life doesn’t go from Romantic Interlude to Romantic Interlude, each day more romantic than the last. I couldn’t keep that up. And if I did:

• Romantic Interludes would lose their specialness, and
• I’d become very unpleasant to be around.

In the words of my life coach Richard Flint, my sweetheart would take me to lunch and get mine to go. I’d have lost my luster.

To keep my sanity and my sweetheart, here’s how I approach romance:

1. I proactively attract new ideas for romancing my sweetheart;
2. When I “discover” a new idea, I record it for future use; and
3. From time to time and on special occasions, I create a Romantic Interlude with my sweetheart.

This way you can keep your sanity, keep your sweetheart interested in you, and keep your Romance Alive.

Set realistic goals for romance and romance can make your relationship great.

How do you keep your Romance Alive?

“Just Because” Romance

Why do you buy your sweetheart flowers?

Sometimes flowers, or other little gifts, are purchased as an attempt to smooth over some difficult times in relationships. Doing this creates skepticism by your sweetheart upon receipt of a floral bouquet.

Here’s a Romantic Interlude™ to change the cynicism.

Next Tuesday buy your sweetheart flowers. On the card, simply state, “Just because it’s Tuesday.”  On the next full moon, repeat the purchase. This card reads, “Because it’s a full moon.” Another posy purchase could be “Because I get to come home to you.” You get the idea.

Repeat every three weeks for two months. Watch what happens.

I’ve tried it and the response was positive.

This works with gifts other than flowers. Robert

Honor and Romance

I have a sweet tooth large enough to make a sabretooth tiger jealous.

Left to its own devices, it would demand:

• Belgium Chocolate-Chocolate ice cream,
• Brouchet au Chocolat,
• Chocolate chunks cookies.

Today I had to shun the siren calls from candy dishes, cookies and Hershey’s dark chocolate enticing “the tooth”. I chose to honor my body. In my view, succumbing to “the tooth” would dishonor my body. The manifestation would reappear when the pounds I evicted retook residency.

People know I work to be selective about what I eat. When they see me linger around a sweet spot, they wonder if I’m being tempted and will succumb to the dark chocolate side. So I avoid the sweet gatherings. I choose to avoid the temptation or even the appearance I’m being tempted.

The best romances are built on the foundation of the relationship triangle:

1. Personal HONOR;
2. Mutual RESPECT;
3. Shared LOVE.

A recent article discussed a decision made by a high-profile person who refuses to dine one-on-one with a member of the opposite sex. It has nothing to do with the avoidance of temptation. His way of maintaining his personal honor and integrity is to avoid even the appearance of impropriety.

This is an unusual choice, though not unique. It’s his way of upholding his personal honor and respecting the relationship with his sweetheart. He understands the value of personal honor in his relational foundation.

When your relationship is built on the foundation of the relationship triangle, your sweetheart feels more relaxed with you, more at ease to enjoy time together. The relationship triangle provides the base upon which you can build your romance triangle. The result is a great, romantic relationship with your sweetheart.

I’ll bet they enjoy a great romance. So can you. Robert

Romantic Cruising

Remember cruising on a Friday or Saturday night. And if you didn’t cruise, it wasn’t from lack of desire. This weekend, take your sweetheart cruising.

Start your evening cruising up and down one of the streets in town, maybe one of your old haunts. Find or bring some tunes from those days, music to cruise by. If your town has a fast-food joint where a car-hop brings your order, stop in for a bite. If not, do a drive-thru or get an order to go.

Eat in the car, listen to the tunes and swap stories from your high school days. Later go somewhere and “neck”. It’s guaranteed to bring a smile. Robert – cruising along in my T-Bird.

Don’t W-A-I-T for Romance

I started creating this blog a couple days ago, but my daughter’s call this afternoon changed the topic.

Returning to my desk, I noticed my daughter had called. Her 15 second voicemail let me know her uncle had passed away – unexpectedly. He was young, in his 50’s, and while not the picture of fitness, his death was startling and premature. It hit her hard.

Now stay with me. You’ll see how this is relevant to romance in your life.

When we connected, I felt her pain. She talked, I listened and mourned with her. I’d known him too.

As she shared her thoughts and feelings, she expressed remorse for something which happened 3 months ago.

Last Christmas, he gave he a fleecy, wooly, warm snuggly blanket. She shared how she’d used this blanket to stay warm on a winter’s drive to the Minnesota airport. Temperatures that morning dropped to minus 30 degrees. The fluffy blanket staved off the frigid temperatures while the car’s heating system struggled.

“Dad. I never told him how the blanket kept me warm on that trip, never told him thank you. It’s something I’d planned to do and thought I would.”

Her statement left me wondering how many times I’d postponed thanking someone, delayed sharing my feelings, missed a chance to say, “I love you”, put off creating a Romantic Interlude for my sweetheart. And when we procrastinate like that, we:

• Bypass opportunities to brighten our sweetheart’s day,
• Let the busyness of life intrude in our relationship (again), and
• Trade a memory-making moment for silence.

If you bypass an opportunity to create a Romantic Interlude with your sweetheart, you’ll probably have another opportunity next week. But you may not.

But don’t court regret. Create that Romantic Interlude with your sweetheart this week. Robert