Springtime Romantic Interlude

There’s something about changing seasons which lifts someone’s mood. This is especially true of the springtime. After seemingly endless weeks of dull grey and cold temperatures, sunshine, flowers and a bit of warmth reinvigorates.

When the forecast is for a warmer day and bright sunshine, invite your sweetheart for a stroll. You don’t need a special destination or a petal-strewn path. Just meander along together and let the hint of changing season enliven your senses.

Skip along. Laugh together. Share memories of previous spring days. Take photos, capturing the memories. Celebrate the seasonal rebirth.

This also works during autumn. Anytime the seasons are changing.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Romancing Not To Lose or Romancing to Win

The Roughneck’s were winning and winning big. With just one period left they held an insurmountable 5-0 lead. In ice hockey, that’s huge.

In the final period, the Roughnecks had clogged center ice and added defenders to keep the Queens from scoring.

Just 2:35 into overtime, the referee whistled while pointing to the Roughneck’s goal. After an incredible 5-goal period, tying the game in the final five seconds, the Queen’s overtime goal won the Miracle on Manchester.

Eli sensed Barb’s interest fading. He took her to her favorite restaurant for a candlelit dinner, which she enjoyed.

A week later, Barb seemed upset, so Eli invited her to a moonlit walk. Later that week, when Barb hadn’t responded to his call, he created another Romantic Interlude.

There is a similarity between the Roughneck’s and Eli. They both focused on not losing.

Do you romance your sweetheart not to lose the relationship? Or, do you romance your sweetheart to continue winning your sweetheart’s heart?

In other words, do you romance to “win” or romance not to “lose”?

Whether we’re talking about sports or romance, here’s the big difference between those two mindsets.

  • When you play or romance not to “lose”, you’re romancing from fear. You’re reacting to your sweetheart. That’s not attractive.
  • When you romance to “win”, you proactively decide to create romantic interludes, confidently choosing the how and when to romance your sweetheart and in order to build the relationship.

Romancing to “win” means building your relationship instead of attempting to romance your sweetheart out of fear you may lose the relationship you have.

Romancing to “win” is attractive!

So, how will you romance your sweetheart?

  • Fearfully romance, so the relationship doesn’t contract (not to “lose”)? Or,
  • Boldly romance, to expand your relationship (to win)?

The choice is yours. Romance to “win”.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Separate Vacations Together

If you could wave a wand and be anywhere at this moment, where would you be? If your sweetheart had the same powers, where would your sweetheart go?

Ask your sweetheart to play going-on-separate-vacations-together.

Each go into a separate room of the house and dress up or dress down as if you were enjoying time at that location.

Now do a video chat.

Take turns describing the location, where you “went” and what you “did” that day. Describe what you’d be doing that evening if you were “there” together.

Now get together and live one of those flights of fancy.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Keeping Romance Alive While Confined

Every day another principality announces, “For 21 days, all citizens of XYZ city, county, region, state, country are quarantined to their homes.”

With those words, couples on every continent find themselves barred from seeing each other. The circuit breaker measures of sheltering in place prevent them from being physically together.

Other couples I know are now confined to their living quarters – together – no matter the size of their abode. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week they cannot escape the other person. And being human, there are moments when it’s too much of a good thing.

How do you keep Romance Alive when you are bound together by the force of law?

First, realize you both need personal space – apart. Humans crave social interaction and also require person space – alone. A place to go where no one will interrupt or judge us for how we are. Somewhere to be silly, angry, sad, quiet.

Second, agree on each person’s escape room. If living quarters allow, select separate rooms or levels as “my” space. If you don’t have room, you might share a single room separately, agreeing on the rules for privacy when needed.

Third, get outside together. There’s something about the freedom resulting from breaking out of the four walls. Sharing that liberty rejuvenates each person separately and the relationship jointly, breathing life back into the coupleship

Fourth, select a place where you can relax together and laugh, share, watch the box. Where you can thoroughly enjoy each other’s company. This becomes the room of touch, talk, and spending time together.

This is the place to keep your Romance Alive.

At this time we may sense our world contracting on us, decreasing our personal world. But with these four ideas in place, you can keep your Romance (and your sweetheart) Alive no matter what.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Pressed Romantic Memories

Fresh flowers may not last forever but you can prolong the memory of the occasion when you gave the bouquet.

As the flowers begin to lose their luster, remove them from the bouquet. Don’t wait too long. You’re preserving their beauty, not their corpses. Select a few flowers to keep. For larger flowers, remove some of the petals. For small flowers, clip them with just a bit of stem still attached.

Research how to dry the flowers. Follow the steps. You’ll only need pieces of paper, some books and a week or two.

Once dried, put the dried flowers into a small candy dish. Your sweetheart will have a reminder of the bouquet you gave.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Romantic Scorekeeping

When was the last time your sweetheart romanced you? And the time before that?

  • Has it been this week? Last week?
  • Did your sweetheart romance you “correctly”, as you prefer?
  • Have you romanced your sweetheart since you were romanced?

How many times has your sweetheart romanced you this month?
Do you out-romance your sweetheart? Or, does your sweetheart outromance you?

Be honest with me. In your relationship, who’s the one who most frequently romances the other?

How quickly were you able to answer those questions?

I hope you had to stop and think hard about the true answers to those questions. Because if you want to have a vibrant relationship with a wonderful romantic component to it, you won’t keep track of who romances the other most.

Romance is not a score-keeping game.

If you count the number of times you romance your sweetheart and the number of times your sweetheart romances you, you’re not a romantic. If you romance to be romanced, you lose.

The quickest way to ensure romance will not be part of your relationship is to keep score.

The goal of romancing your sweetheart is simple. You romance your sweetheart to romance your sweetheart. It’s about your sweetheart and enhancing the relationship.

One caveat. Knowing your sweetheart out-romances you could be positive. You could use “losing” as an incentive to become more romantic.

If you have a mental scorepad, throw it away. A romance-counting file? Delete it. Assume your sweetheart out-romances you 100:1 and look for new ways to do something to express your affection for your sweetheart, designing special moments the two of you can share, and creating an abundance of shared memories of those moments together. That’s romance.

You got some romantic catching up to do.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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A Night On The Town Without Leaving Home

Stuck in a clothes-rut? Wearing nearly the same kind of clothes every day? Time for a change to keep your Romance Alive.

Agree with your sweetheart that some evening you’re going to get spiffed up, showered up, dressed up, primped up and fragranced up like it’s date night.

Order delivery from one of the local restaurants, even if it’s fast food.  When it arrives, accompany/escort your sweetheart to the door to collect it. Add anything else you’d like for the meal.

Don’t need to do anything beyond that. Just the act of dressing up will make the evening feel special and romantic, without having to leave home.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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