Woodchopping Romance

July evenings come early in New Zealand. The sun drops below the horizon before 5:30 on Kiwi winters.

The blazing houselights offered little illumination for their romantic evening. So Mikki and Chris added the glow of their 2 cell phones “torches”.

  • No, they weren’t dinning by candlelight under the Southern Cross;
  • They weren’t dashing through the snow, looking for a tree; (It was July!)
  • And they weren’t snuggled together sipping hot cocoa.

Mikki and Chris were playing together – seriously playing together.

The two Kiwis are competitive chainsawing champions. They enjoy training, practicing, and competing together. They enjoy being together while chainsawing and woodchopping.

While other 20-somethings prefer white linens, tapered candles, clinking glasses and flambéed something, these 2 encourage each other and strengthen their relationship woodchopping.

Which brings us to a truth – romance looks different to different people and different couples.

I’ve asked people about the most romantic thing they’ve ever experienced. Answers range from dinner at home to rock climbing to late night talks or a weekend at the beach.

What your sweetheart finds romantic may not sound attractive to me. And what I find romantic may seem boring to you. Different couples romance differently.

And that’s great! We’re all built differently and Romance differently.

The secret to keeping Romance Alive is discovering what your sweetheart finds romantic, understanding why your sweetheart finds it romantic, then romancing your sweetheart how your sweetheart wants to be romanced.

There it is again, the Platinum Rule of Romance: Romance your sweetheart how your sweetheart wants to be romanced.

You may think Mikki and Chris are crazy to consider woodchopping a Romantic Interlude. You may think walking hand-in-hand through a field of flowers downright dull. But it’s right for the right couple.

Discover what you and your sweetheart consider Romantic then let Romance build your relationship.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Romance With a Gift, Words and Time

Here’s a simple Romantic Interlude.

As you head home or somewhere to meet your sweetheart, take a couple minutes at the grocery store. Pick up a single flower. (Even if you’re a woman, go ahead and get one for your guy.) Add a small little stuffed animal about 3 inches (8 cm) tall. Finally, get a $20 gift card to a favorite restaurant.

Tell your sweetheart you selected these things for her/him because 1) he’s/she’s sweet like the flower, 2) cute as the animal and 3) you want the spend the evening together.

See. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Try this simple way to romance your sweetheart with gifts, words and time.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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7-7-7 And Romance

Do you have “lucky numbers”?

  • The year, month or day you were born?
  • The number of children?
  • A series of family’s birthdates?

Many people repeatedly play the same “lucky lottery numbers”, usually without positive cashflow. They believe that these “lucky numbers” will overpower the odds and result in good fortune.

In Las Vegas, 7-7-7 means you’ve defeated the odds and the lord of chance now bequeaths great riches upon you. Triple 7, and you’re a winner.

Remember July 7, 2007? I happened to be in Las Vegas on that date. There was a crush of couples in every church, chapel and Justice of the Peace office, all vying to get married on that “lucky date”. Each believed getting married on 7-7-7 would drastically tilt the odds in their favor for living the life of eternal Romance.

Have you seen statistics on the divorce rate for those married on 7-7-7? I haven’t. I’m guessing it’s probably worse than those married the day before or after. Many of these couples may have rushed to get married on that “lucky day” instead of taking time to create a real relationship.

Nothing like putting your trust in a series of numbers to compensate for working on Romance.

  • Luck has nothing to do with the Romance.
  • Fortune doesn’t bequeath more Romance on one over another.
  • Rabbits’ feet, four leaf clovers and 7-7-7 don’t automatically bring Romance into your relationship.

If you want to have a relationship filled with vibrant Romance, a Romance which enhances and advances your relationship, take the time and do the work.

Instead of looking for a Romantic elixir, begin today 1) learning how your sweetheart wants to be Romanced, 2) taking time to create Romantic Interludes, then 3) putting those plans into actions.

Luck and 7-7-7 are not what create Romance. You do.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Does your sweetheart appreciate being romanced with words? That can be tough when creating word pictures is not one of your world-class talents.

I found a company who will help you romance your sweetheart in words. The cost? About the price of a bouquet And it’s not a mass-produced, production line greeting card.

The company: LoveBook® (www.LoveBookOnline.com).

They’ll help you design a unique book about all those little reasons you appreciate your sweetheart. You “design” the characters. You “design” the cover. You create the story of you (plural).

The result is a bound collection of memories which continue romancing your sweetheart for life.

Let me know how this works for you.

Robert, a hopeless Romantic

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Keep Romance Alive While Your Feel Like You’re Dying

Recently read an interesting article by Sheila Qualls: Four ways to keep Romance Alive while you feel like you’re dying. Sounded like an article on keeping a flicker of Romance glowing as the end approaches.

Since I’m always looking for anything having to do with relationship-enhancing romance, I started reading.

Immediately she was on to babies and children and marriage. Nothing about passing. It was about what happens when children arrive.

Some mothers reading this will immediately identify with feeling like you’re dying from exhaustion once a child is born. Some fathers may remember changes children brought to their relationship and wondering when it would return to “normal”.

Her 4 ideas:

  1. Find ways to make relationship time a priority;
  2. Teach your children to respect your time with each other;
  3. Carve out time to talk each week;
  4. Make time for yourself.

Reading through the list, I was struck by a common thread running through each idea. It is something very important to keeping Romance Alive.

In four different ways, Sheila said time is important to keeping Romance Alive.

  • Time is priceless.
  • Teaching respect for time is important.
  • Making time for you and your relationship – vital.

Each of us has been given a container with a limited amount of time. We don’t know how much we’ve been given or how much is left. Once used it’s gone forever, except for the memories woven into our thoughts.

Which means you only know you have this moment to Romance your sweetheart.

When children, parents, friends, strangers or anyone else demands you give a portion of your limited amount of time to them, evaluate that investment of this precious gift.

No matter what you decide, for the sake of Romance in your relationship, invest substantial portions of your time with the one you love.

Robert, a hopeless Romantic

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Fireplace Romantic Picnic

Summertime is picnic time. Sandwiches, finger foods and a favorite beverage followed by putting your head in your sweetheart’s lap and talking about everything at a leisurely pace.

Sounds inviting? Not when the thermometer is 32ºF and dropping, unless you take it indoors.

Make sandwiches. Find a vegetable dip for the celery and carrots. Bake some brownies and pull out the picnic basket. Spread a blanket and create an indoors picnic in front of the fireplace.

Surprise your sweetheart with this cold weather romantic picnic. You’ll break the monotony of the gray world outside and create a memory you’ll both enjoy.

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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Berlutis or Sketchers for Romance?

She was dressed in an elegant cocktail dress: short, but not skimpy. Her hair styled a bit more than the usual office look, but not extravagant. Her sparkling earrings highlighted the light in her eyes. She looked wonderful tonight.

My black, classic wool pants were pressed, not starched. The cream-colored mock turtleneck peeked out from under the single-buttoned burgundy blazer. European savoir faire.

I slipped the corsage onto her wrist, opened the door and escorted her to dinner and the theater – a romantic evening for sure.

Soon I realized she didn’t feel romanced.

To her it was unromantic. She felt dressed up to:

  • Impress others,
  • Appease me, and
  • Endure

Her preference for romance?

Shorts and a summer’s afternoon under a huge oak tree. Pimento cheese sandwiches, carrot and celery sticks and a couple beers defined dining. There’d be strolling and talking and lots of laughter in her Romantic Interlude.

What went wrong with my creation?

I’d focused on what I considered romantic. Instead of creating a Romantic Interlude for my sweetheart, I’d created a Romantic Interlude for me.

Sometimes, we create Romantic Interludes which flop because our focus has been on ourselves, not our sweetheart.

The Platinum Rule of Romance reminds us: “do unto your sweetheart as your sweetheart wishes you to do unto him/her.”

By focusing on what your sweetheart considers romantic, you’re more likely to create a Romantic Interlude which strengthens your relationship and creates a shared memory between the two of you – a memory which will persist over the years.

While I may enjoy this “classic romantic evening” of fine dining and Peer Gynt, if I want to romance my sweetheart, I’ll exchange my Berlutis for Sketchers and meander with her through the Dogwoods on a warm summer’s day.

What would be your sweetheart’s ideal Romantic Interlude?

Robert, a hopeless romantic

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