Is your romance on cruise control?
I have driven hours at a time on I-75. As I start my journey up the monotonous blacktopped trail, I set the cruise control to a speed approximating my generous view of the posted speed limit. Sometimes I go for over an hour without touching the accelerator. This is wonderful except when it isn’t.
On cruise control, my car’s fuel economy declines and the ride is not as fluid. When sensors detect the car’s speed below my setting, the computer commands the car return to the “correct” speed – ACCELERATE RAPIDLY NOW. No gradual acceleration. And when cars ahead slow down, cruise control forcefully brakes – DECELERATE RAPIDLY NOW.
This all-or-nothing approach to maintaining a consistent speed is not an effective way to drive. It’s rather frustrating.
Some people approach romance like my car’s cruise control.
- Honey has a bad day; a candlelight dinner tonight – always.
- After a disagreement, a car ride with the drop-top down – always.
- Every third Friday, flowers or Edible Arrangements.
If something happens for which you have a predetermined response, you romance now. Otherwise, nothing. You have set romantic reactions. While better than nothing, it’s not satisfying, not really romantic. Good to have a romantic plan ready to implement. But when romance is only predictable and routine, it becomes unsatisfying romance.
Romance you control, which includes unexpected Romantic Moments, is the lifeblood of your relationship. You can repeat a Romantic Moment or have some romantic routines. Those have their place in your relationship. But when you take time to research and create a new and different Moment, especially one which is centered around your honey’s romantic preferences, it’s refreshing, creating new and special memories between you.
Use romantic cruise control prudently. Just make sure unexpected and unique Romantic Moments are generously included to keep your Romance Alive.
Robert Beagle, LET
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